Earlier this year, I was listening to one of my favorite Podcasts “The Longest, Shortest Time.” The presenter Andrea Silenzi (who I had listened to on her previous Podcast “Why oh Why”) was clearly wrestling with whether to have a child on her own, whether to preserve her fertility by freezing her eggs, or whether to invest more time in trying to find Mr Right. She just so happened to be at the same age I was when I started seriously having those thoughts.
Now I think egg freezing is the biggest scam of the decade so I’d never recommend anyone do that unless they had no other choice (for example, cancer – and even then I’d say make some embryos too.) Having gone through the rocky path I did to conceive my son, I felt duty bound to reach out to her. Maybe if I can help just one person make their decision I’ll feel like my mistakes weren’t in vain.
So I wrote an email to the Podcast.
To my surprise I was contacted and asked to talk to Andrea about my experiences. You can listen to that podcast here.
I had been toying with the idea of starting a blog again for a few months before this. I had been trying to teach myself some copywriting skills and thought that it would be good practice if nothing else. Being on the Podcast made me get my backside into gear and buy the domain name I had been kicking around in my mind for a while.
“The Uhoh Diaries”
I love this name because UhOh is one of the first, most recognizable words out of toddlers mouths and it sticks around through toddlerhood. As parents we instinctually say it to convey something that isn’t going quite right. Toddler spills food on the floor “UhOh”, , toddler drops toy off of deck “UhOh”! (That one used to happen a lot!) Messy hands – “UhOh!”
My life has felt like a series of UhOh’s with a very happy ending. It certainly hasn’t gone according to the plan I had in my mind when I was in my teens, my twenties or even my thirties. Now, in my 40’s I finally feel as though I have passed the UhOh torch onto my son. I hope he only needs it for spilled drinks and wardrobe malfunctions.
Being on a Podcast is nerve wrecking. I had a lot of trust in the presenters as I have listened to almost every episode. Its a parenting podcast and always comes at parenting from an interesting perspective. You don’t have to be a parent to enjoy it.
That said I was still scared that I would come across badly. As a Single Mother by Choice, it was really important to me to represent us in a good light. I also want people to know that fertility can’t be assumed. That it isn’t always there when we need it. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the moment and say to yourself that you’ll have children one day in the distant future. The harsh reality is that once you hit 30 you need to start thinking about it in a more serious way. Maybe get your fertility checked by your Obgyn. It is so so hard to do. I speak from experience. I kept thinking that my dream man was right around the corner, kept trying to fit a square peg in a round hole just so that I wouldn’t have to face doing it all alone.
Safely on the other side, having wrestled with becoming a Single Parent by Choice and then infertility I can say that it’s far less scary than I ever imagined. In fact in so many ways I think it’s been easier for me. I have a huge Choice Mother community in my area and the Donor Family as well as the original friends who have stuck around!
The Podcast aired right as I launched my website/blog. I got so many calls from friends and acquaintances who had listened as well as a lot of good feedback from the SMC community! I am so glad that they feel well represented. Our voices aren’t heard enough. Whilst there are so many people who choose this path (and the numbers are growing,) there still isn’t enough positive press about us.
This is why I am trying to play my small part in giving a little exposure and understanding of this beautiful path I have chosen to make a family and live a happy, fulfilled life.
I have never been happier than I am now.
I feel so fortunate for my little corner of happiness. Happiness is everything. Do whatever you can to chase it and to find it. If you jump, trust in the net to catch you.